timeflipped | In Matters of Gods (Reply)

"Believe in yourself," Kyousuke said idly. "You’re an ancient, absent god, discussed only rarely by literary scholars. If you don’t, no one will."

Ccapac gave his charge - although how much of that was really true, any more? Over two hundred years, now. Kyousuke himself did not seem any different by appearance, but the god could tell. He could always tell.

It was something in his spirit, in his soul.

The temple to himself that he’d been building there had, of late, begun to build itself.

At first he had stared, belatedly confused and wondering when he’d placed that stone, painted that part of the iconic mural.

But, he realised, he had not. And more recently, while his own additions were becoming less and less, those of Kyousuke himself whether the boy realised it or not, were more abundant.

"That is very… kind of you, Kyousuke."

"Hey, I read it somewhere, okay? And… besides. It suits us.. you, really." Although in Ccapac’s eyes, the ‘us’ was becoming more and more relevant to the topic.

He could only keep up the equivalent exchange of spirit needed for so long.

"Even so. You have my thanks."

"Hn. Yeah, yeah…"

…

"You gotta believe in yourself!"

Kiryu Kyousuke, also known as Ccapac, the Traveller, the God of the Mountain, He Who Wanders Adrift In Time, turned to look at his newest apprentice.

It was in-between years, not even a good two-fifty until the next Shaman Fight, but that didn’t take away from his other responsibilities, such as looking out for his old friends’ families.

This one was one of Jack and Carly’s lot. She had to be… what, twelve? But she had promise. And in some ways, she reminded him of her many-times grandmother.

"Hm?"

"You think that just because no one talks about you and worships you all that much, that you’re not worth much! But you are! You can do a lot, I’ve seen it! So, just - believe in it! If you don’t… who will?”

The words echoed in his head, as though they’d been drifting through time and had taken this long to reach him again.

He was ancient, now, and absent-minded at times. Literary scholars sometimes did make mention of him, but rarely properly, and always as though he were some sort of urban legend.

It was hard, sometimes. There was him, and there was Aiapaec, and then there were the others, and yet in many ways he was the only one who was also human. Despite all his many years and the age of spirit that came with taking the spirit of Ccapac Apu into his own, he still saw himself as human, with their wants, their frailties… their loneliness.

Believe in yourself, he remembered himself saying. If you don’t, no one will.

"Thanks," he sighed

"Eh?"

"I said something like that to an old friend once."

She looked at him, confused, but didn’t push the matter.

…

AN: I have to admit that this entire thing was fully inspired by one particular tweet by the ‘Welcome To Night Vale’ podcast twitter stream. I read it, and it suited both Ccapac, and then later Kiryu too, to an extent.